The ABCs of Stargate SG1
by fireheart93
Summary: A quick romp through the alphabet letter by letter, it's easier for you to read it rather then for my to try to explain it :D
1. A is for Arachnid

**Author's Note: Fireheart here. This is an idea I began with my little sister Eleniel, we would take it in turns to write a short Stargate ficlet, inspired by a word begining with a certain letter of the alphabet. I began with A, she did B and so on. Looking back at what we've done, it's interesting to see our different writing styles, I rely on dialogue whereas she uses much more description. So here, for you reading pleasure, is the results of our labours. Read, review, and above all, enjoy :D**

**A **_is for Arachnid_

A high pitched scream reverberated around the clearing.

"What the hell was that?" Jack demanded.

"It would appear that Daniel Jackson suffers from arachnophobia," Teal'c stated. The colonel looked confused.

"Fear of spiders," Sam clarified.

"I knew that," Jack said. There was a pause. Then Jack asked, "Who's gonna help him get down from that tree?"

**Disclaimer: We own nothing, please don't sue us. Reviews are love. Until we meet again, Fireheart.**


	2. B is for Boredom

**Author's note: Okey dokey everyone, Eleniel here. This is my very first fanfic so if it's not up to scratch I am very sorry. Comments would be lovely, good or bad, as it will hopefully give me something to use for future reference. All I can say is that I hope this is up to your usual standards and you enjoy it. Have fun!**

**B** _is for Boredom_

Jack and Teal'c had been stuck in the time loop for some time now and finally reached breaking point. They were sitting in Daniel's office in silence. Jack was frantically spinning round on Daniels office chair, and Teal'c was staring at some very odd masks in the corner of the room.

"I swear to god," said Jack breaking the silence, "if we don't get out of this soon, suicide will start to look like a very satisfying!" Just then Daniel walked in to the room.

"You guys had better have a good reason for being in here!" Daniel said with a slightly angry tone.

"Relax Daniel, it's not like we've broken anything," Jack replied stopping the chair spinning.

"Well anyway could you please just go and sulk somewhere else, because unlike some people I have a lot of work to get done," said Daniel opening the door for them. Teal'c started to take his eyes off the weird masks and move towards the door, but Jack just kept on spinning.

"Daniel we are so bored, just give us something to do."

"Well you could always help me with some paper work..."

"Come on Teal'c," Jack said. "I can tell when were not wanted." And with that Jack stopped spinning and wobbled precariously towards the door, Teal'c following.

"So what shall we do now O'Neill?" asked Teal'c as they made their way down the corridor.

"I have no idea Teal'c," replied Jack. "But I'm sure I'll think of something".

I couldn't believe my eyes at first, I thought this was some mad crazy dream (it wouldn't have been the first time). It took me a few minutes to realize that this was no dream. In all my years of being a General I had never seen something quite as disturbing as what was now before me. Colonel O'Neill was hopping around the gate room, through the Stargate, over boxes...on a pogo stick!!!! I thought I had seen everything, oh how wrong I was. I was about to walk down there and have a very stern word with him, when suddenly Teal'c came hopping into view...on a pogo stick!!!! Has the world gone completely stark staring bonkers??!! The two of them, bouncing around the gate room like two over sized rabbits.

"Colonel O'Neill what the hell are you doing??!!"

The Colonel was in mid jump when he heard my voice echo over the sound system and around the gate room. He landed, slipped, fell and then lay there looking very angry with himself. He lifted his head a looked at me.

"General you just ruined my landing"

"I don't care, your hopping around in my gate room!!!!"

"Relax General," replied Jack. "You will have forgotten all of this by tomorrow."

**Disclaimer: We own nothing, you get the picture. Thanks to all those who read this, especially those who review or add to story alert, that means a lot to us. Until we meet again, Fireheart.**


	3. C is for Carrot

**Author's Note: Fireheart again. Thanks for the reviews and the story alerts. I corrected the mistakes in the last two chapters so they should be ok now. Enjoy :D**

**C **_is for Carrot_

"Daniel?"

"Yes Sam."

"What is that?"

"What?"

"That"

"That?"

"Yes."

"It would appear to be a green carrot."

"With pink polka dots?"

"Yes."

"Oh." There was a pause.

"Do you think that's what Jack ate?"

"To turn him green with pink spots?"

"Yes."

"I would imagine so yes, Sam." Another pause.

"Are you gonna tell him?"

"I thought Teal'c could."

"I agree."

**Disclaimer:** **We own nothing (but Christmas is only a month away *hinthint*). Reviews are love, and we could all use some love. Thank you for reading, until we meet again, fireheart.**


	4. D is for Dying

**Author's Note: **For those of you who are keeping track, it's Eleniel here :D Hope you enjoy!

**D** is for dying

"Jack please help me."

"What now Daniel?" They were sitting in the commissary drinking coffee and eating cake waiting for news of the aborted mission they were currently supposed to be on. Sam was working somewhere with General Hammond and a few other scientists, and Teal'c was meditating in his room. So it was just Jack and Daniel.

"I have been pondering over it for some time now and I just haven't found the answer, please you've got to help me," said Daniel staring at Jack.

"Well how am I supposed to help you if you haven't even told me what it is you need help with?!"

"My talent Jack...I don't know what my talent is!!"

"Your talent?"

"Yes my talent. Everyone else seems to have one but I don't. I really want to know what it is." Jack had to try desperately to hold back the giggles as he listened to what Daniel had to say.

"So let me get this straight," said Jack. "You're asking me to help you find your talent?"

"Precisely."

Jack couldn't hold it back any longer. The giggle that was patiently waiting at the back of his throat suddenly emerged.

"It's not funny," cried Daniel, "I seriously need your help here!"

"Ok," Jack replied. "Let's think...what are you good at...umm...archaeology!! Come on Daniel you know a lot about archaeology!"

"Yeah but that's not really a talent is it. Think of something else"

"Ok umm...what about...languages you can speak loads of different languages."

"No! What I mean is a talent like acting, dancing, singing, painting you know that sort of thing."

"You mean like a hobby?"

"Yeah"

"Well can you act?"

"No"

"Can you dance?"

"No"

"Can you sing?"

"No"

"Can you paint?"

"No"

"Then you're a lost cause."

"Oh please Jack don't give up."

"Ok ok I'll have one more think...umm...umm...ah ha I have it!!!"

"What?"

"You wanna know?"

"Duh"

"Ok ok you wanna know your talent?"

"YES!!!"

"Ok...it's...dying." There was a sudden silence. Daniel just stared at Jack as if he had gone insane! Jack stared back looking very pleased with himself. Daniel raised his eyebrows and gave Jack a very strange look.

"Dying?"

"Yeah dying"

"I knew that deciding to ask you would come back and bite me in the ass!" And with that he finished the rest of his coffee and walked off. Jack smiled to himself and followed him out of the commissary.

**Disclaimer: **We own nothing, suing us would be a huge waste of legal fees. Reviewing is love, until we meet again, Fireheart.


	5. E is for Elephant

**Author's Note: Fireheart here. Sorry for the delay, Christmas is always bonkers, what with the amount of shows and stuff I had to do. Hope you all had a great holiday and a happy new year. Enjoy!**

**E **_is for Elephant_

At this exact moment in time, Jack was a very happy camper. He was finally in Carter's bedroom! Albeit it was only to help her pick out an outfit for tonight's Christmas party but still, it was a start. They had chosen an outfit fairly quickly so now Sam was in the bathroom, getting changed, leaving Jack alone in her room. He looked around, curious to see what sort of things she would have in her room. It was neat and tidy, with everything organised in a way that didn't quite scream military but wasn't far off. There was a desk covered with papers and books, a large closet next to it. In the centre of the room stood a large, queen-sized bed, with a bedside table next to it. Jack wondered over, unable to contain his curiosity. As he approached something caught his eye. Something large. Something large and pink. Something large and pink with a purple tail. At that moment Sam re-entered the room.

"Are you ready Colonel?" she asked.

"Carter," Jack said, "what is this?"

"That's Egbert Sir."

"Egbert?"

"Yes Sir, Egbert the Elephant."

"Right." The colonel dropped Egbert back on the bed and turned to face Sam.

"Lead the way Major." She walked out of the room and he followed her. But not before he glared at the creature that got to share Sam's bed instead of him. He sighed, shaking his head. He was jealous of a pink stuffed elephant. Imagine what Daniel would say if he could see him now.

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately Stargate was not one of my Christmas presents so I still don't own anything. Reviews warm the cold winter's nights, until we meet again, Fireheart.


	6. F is for Frog

**AN: **Sorry for the delay, we've both been really busy with school stuff. Hopefully we'll be able to update more often now though :D

**F** _is for frog_

Sam was sitting in her office typing up all sorts of sciency crap that only she and approximately 7 other people in the entire SGC actually understood. She was just about to start another paragraph when Jack walked in, hands in his pockets looking very casual. Jack had never seen Sam's office looking so messy! Books lay upside down on the table and floor, scrunched up pieces of paper lay in messy piles in the Corners of the room, diagrams, charts and graphs were pinned up on the wall and there was a pencil pot that was gradually rolling it's way to the edge of the table.

"Carter." Jack said as he, picked up the pencil pot that had fallen on the floor, and put it on the desk. Sam jumped about a foot in the air and franticly started to tidy up.

"Yes sir?" she replied whilst she desperately tried to shove all of the scraps of paper into her tiny dustbin.

"Nothin" he replied as he sat down in her chair and began to spin a pencil between his fingers. Sam turned to look at him, rolled her eyes and then began to take down charts and place them neatly into one of her many filing cabinets.

"Did you come here for any particular reason?" asked Sam taking the pencil from Jacks hand and placing it in her pencil pot along with several pens and a pair of scissors.

"Umm..." replied Jack tilting his head to one side and pulling a face that made him look as though he was in deep thought "I was lonely" he eventually said. He raised his eye brows and tried pulling his best lost puppy face. Sam just smiled and giggled quietly to herself. Just as she was about to put the books back on her bookshelf, a loud shriek echoed around the corridors. Sam turned to look at Jack but he didn't seem to have heard it. She thought she was just imagining things so she turned back to what she was doing. But then she heard it again, louder and longer than before. This time Jack had heard it as well.

"What the hell was that?" asked Jack standing up and looking out of the door.

"I have no idea sir." Replied Sam and went to join him. Then they heard it again. This time they ran towards the sound. Running through the corridors they could hear the shrieking getting louder. They eventually ended up at Daniels office. When they entered they found Daniel standing on a chair holding onto the book shelf with his left hand and waving a book franticly around in his right hand.

"Daniel what the hell is going on in here?" asked Jack walking right up to Daniel and taking the book from his hand. Sam followed.

"Hello? Earth to Daniel." Jack said clicking his fingers in front of Daniel's face.

"FROG!" Daniel shouted pointing at his desk "FROG!"

Jack followed his finger and when he saw what Daniel was pointing at he jumped back in surprise. There on top of a pile of books was a small, speckled, green frog. It was staring straight at them. It suddenly hopped off the books and onto the floor. Then all hell broke loose. Daniel screamed and leapt onto the desk next to him not letting go of the book shelf. Jack couldn't keep his cool any longer and stepped up onto the chair that Daniel was previously standing on. Sam ran to the corner of the room and grabbed an old lunch box and then proceeded to chase the frog around the room trying to catch it. Janet hearing all the noise ran down the corridor and met up with Teal'c. They both made their way to Daniel's office and found Jack standing on a chair with a rolled up piece of paper, Daniel standing on a desk as close to the wall as possible and Sam running around the room after a little frog. Janet seeing this began to laugh and helped Sam corner the frog and catch it in the box. Teal'c on the other hand was very confused and just stood in the door way staring at the two fully grown men who, after realising that the frog had now been caught, where climbing down from the safety of the chair and desk and where now walking very slowly towards the corner of the room, still clutching rolled up pieces of paper. Sam gave the frog to Janet and told her to take it outside and set it free. Janet then left the room closely followed by Teal'c who was too confused to say anything. Sam put her hands on her hips and turned to look at Daniel and Jack who were hiding in the corner.

"Ok well I'll just leave you girls alone for a while yeah?" Sam said and she walked out of the door. Jack stared at Daniel and Daniel stared back.

"Well I'm just gonna umm...get some...coffee." Said Jack and quickly left the room. Daniel walked over to his desk, checked his chair for any unwanted little creatures and sat down.

"What the hell just happened?" Daniel said to himself. He sighed and lay his head down on the desk and closed his eyes.

"Incoming traveller" screamed the alarm and the red light outside Daniels room started flashing. But he was too busy hating himself to even care.


End file.
